Humiliation

So the other day at lunch, a friend of mine (let's call him Jonah) had nowhere to sit, because our table was too filled. Being the amazing humanitarian I am, I decided that we could share a seat because that is the smart thing to do. Well, I thought it was, until everything escalated. 

First, it started off okay. Everything was fine, he was being civil. 

Then, he started to think to himself, "Well, I am a man, so I need more seat space than her," so he began to slowly, but surely, push me off. Eventually, I put one knee on the ground, and my right butt cheek was in the chair.

As if that wasn't enough, he thought it was funny that I was accommodating to his needs. So he then SHOVES (YES, he SHOVES a poor little girl) onto the ground.

OH, I know what you're thinking, "It's not that bad. You could be living in the middle of the desert riding a camel into nowhere," but you are SOOOOOOOOO wrong! 

Right next to us is the table of the jocks. Not just any jocks, but the varsity jocks that think they are too good for anyone else. 

Yeah, you all know where this is going. 

Everyone over there starts laughing, and I was humiliated until I learned where I landed... my head was on our star quarterback's lap! 

Now, he isn't just some jock, he is the jock. The perfect man. The man who every boy wants to be, and every girl wants to date/screw. He is BEAUTIFUL! 

After I realize I fall, my lips decide to work by themselves, but without the help of my vocal cords. So I end up whispering, "I'm Sorry."

He then WINKS at me, and then I realize I made ANOTHER HUGE mistake... the "I'm Sorry" came out as a seductive "I'm Sorry" and he took it completely wrong! 

So the moral of this story, I guess, is to NEVER EVER EVER share your seat with ANYONE you trust. That is a big step in the friend relationship, you have to evaluate them before you offer!